Memories
by Sokorra Lewis
Summary: When Pippin's daughter gets older, Pippin, Merry and Estella remember and write to the little girl about her mother. [complete]
1. Pippin

Memories: A Pippin and Merry Love Story  
  
Pippin:  
  
Ever have a dream pass before you and realize it is reality only to have it end as a nightmare? It happened to me. This story won't be the Red Book, as I asked Frodo and Sam not to include it, but it is true.  You all know about Diamond, and don't get me wrong. I do love her very much, but that is not the same.  
  
It all started in the Shire when I was in my mid tweens. Merry was coming up on his coming of age party and I had relocated to Brandyhall to help him plan for the festivities.  Frodo was there, as was Sam (which was odd. I had no clue as of yet that Sam had been hired to spy on Frodo and that Merry had known about the ring for years). Sam had brought Rosie Cotton as his date and Frodo a young Hobbitess named Sabrina. Merry had no inclination at all about romantic ventures, but even though that is what he said, we knew it not to be true. We knew him long enough to know his interest in young Estella Bolger was not as Fatty's friend.  Even Merry's father had noticed it and that's why he tried to put a party together where Stella and Merry would be thrown together a lot. Stella didn't mind as she quite enjoyed Merry's company. She was barely 29 and did not think of courting quite yet, unlike her mother and Merry's who planed to get them together.  
  
Stella had brought her friend Corona to the party. From the instant I saw her I was stunned. She was very beautiful by anyone's standards. She looked a lot like Stella, although I only noticed that in the later years. She had long flowing hair (curly of course) that was as dark as midnight. Her eyes were a brilliant green that sparkled. Her skin was slightly tanned since Stella and her liked to play outdoors despite their "high" social status.  They even came to Hobbiton just to help the Gamgees with their work.  I had never seen her before however.  
  
Corona and I got along great, as anyone would expect.  I asked her out occasionally and we dated for three years. Those were the happiest moments of my life before the war.  We were very much in love, and Stella and Merry helped us get away for period of times by distracting our parents.  My parents wanted me to marry someone from a higher family (it seemed they too had their sights on Miss Bolger, but she would have nothing to do with it).   
  
Shortly before I left on my journey we were married. Merry was there, as was Sam. We were married by an out of town minister who really didn't know the shire politics very well.  We lived in Crickhollow for a while, a house owned by Merry's family. My parents were angry but they later forgave me. It was only a few months late when I had to leave. As I left I held onto Corona, never knowing that this would be the last time I was going to be able to hold her for a very long time. The trip turned out to be longer then any of us anticipated.  
  
The next time I saw her was at the battle at Bywater. Merry and I were leading the battle when I saw her, fighting along side the rest of the Brandybucks. She must have escaped Merry's notice because he would not have let her go. I didn't know till later that Merry had fallen for her too and she in fact was the one he thought of, not Stella when he was in the other battles. I never faulted him for that. It was hard not to fall in love with her.  
  
She was fighting when I came beside her and killed the man who was attempting to kill her. She smiled at me and kept on fighting. We fought for a while side by side, till the battle was nearly over. It was then that the dream we had been living became the nightmare. She was stabbed, mortally. There was no way she could live. Merry even tried, but it was useless. She lay in my arms, blood pooling slowly around her waist slowly and we spoke of our memories as the battle was cleaned up. She looked up with green eyes and then told me about the one thing she had left me to remember her by. And then she died.  She was all I knew of true love at that time, and it was hard on me.  
  
I think it was even harder on Merry, who had never told her his true feelings for her. She knew of course. Stella had told her.  Corona left me a note, knowing somehow that she would somehow never get to explain it to me.  Eventually I forgave him after I realized what she meant when she said his love for me was stronger then his love for her. I was his best friend and cousin and he felt attempting to show his love for her would ruin something he didn't want ruined. I would have done the same to him.  
  
Now we are both married. Diamond and I care for baby Faramir now, along with Lela, the daughter I had with Corona. Lela doesn't remember her true mother and thinks Diamond is her "mum" but sometimes I glance at her and see her mother shining though in those green, deep green eyes. Those are what capture you, the eyes.  
  
Merry married Stella, more out of familial duty then anything else. It hurt me sometimes to see how much he hurts, especially when he sees my daughter, the image of her mother. But sometimes it hurts me more to see Stella give Merry so much love and not being given any back. Merry cares about her deeply, but as with me, he knows there will be no other green eyed lady who won our hearts so long ago. I have been able to move on, but he is still moving along, being tugged in two different directions. He almost went with Frodo to the Havens, but then Frodo convinced him to come back. Someone needed to take care of Buckland and he had also not carried the ring. Perhaps in a time Merry will heal and turn his attention to the one person who loves him more then anything; Stella.   
  
As for me, I shall never forget my first love, and shall always remember Corona when I look at my daughter, but I will live on, as she would want me too.  
  
Pippin Took  
  
Thain of the Shire 


	2. Merry

Memories Part Two: Merry  
  
Pippin asked me to write about this, although I do not know his reason. I was mainly a bystander in this situation, so I am not sure what to write of it.  
  
The story itself started the day of my party when I was coming of age. Becoming thirty-three was a big thing and my family had decided to have a large party for me, although it did not even closely match the greatness of my cousin Frodo's. My Father had invited almost the entire Shire to the party, especially young unmarried girls. He thought it was time for me to settle down and start thinking of a family while I trained to take his job when he died.  
  
Fredeger Bolger was there as well as my cousins (and best friends) Frodo and Pippin. Sam, who I would only know really well later, had also been invited since I thought he might us well participate since he was in our schemes with Frodo. Fatty, as Fredeger was called before the war, had brought along his sister Estella and her friend Corona. Stella and I had been friends for a while, having only three years apart in our age. My father had noticed our friendship and he, along with numerous members of my family including Frodo, started hinting that I should continue my relationship with her. Of course for a while I ignored it but after awhile it got to me and I actually had to think about it. It didn't seem that bad after I already liked Stella a lot, and having her as a girlfriend would be a plus. So that night I planed on asking her. Fatty had already given me permission to do so, so everything was set up for it. However once I saw Corona my plans were forgotten.  
  
I can't say my love for her was at first sight, like Pippin's was, but it was close enough. I can't really explain my love for her either. It wasn't because I was attracted to her since Stella looked almost the same, only instead of the bright green color of Corona's, her eyes were a bright blue. It was much more deeper then that. It was more then infatuation and she was all I could think about during the day. The only one who I ever told about the love I had for Corona was Stella and if you asked her she would be able to explain it better.  
  
The problem with the situation was Pippin. He had fallen even harder then me, and she had likewise fallen for him. It was one of those true love stories. I tried to be as happy for them as much as I could. Half the time I felt jealous that Pippin had won her heart but the other half of the time I felt guilty for being in love with my best friend's true love. Estella helped me though it, allowing me to talk to her about it. I never saw how much it hurt her to see me being in love with her best friend till later when it was too late to repair all the damage it caused. But she wanted it that way, willing to be my friend and confident because of the love she had for me.  
  
There were times when Estella and I had to make excuses for Pippin and Corona so they could be together. While the Tooks never held to the class system that seemed to run some of the shire they did believe that their son should marry someone of high standing, like Estella. Estella of course wanted no part in a romance with Pippin and he with her. They couldn't see each other in a romantic sense but only as sister and brother.. Corona was a wealthy Bucklander but she was still not as high as Estella in social ranking due to the isolationist practices of her parents. Corona's parents were looking for someone such as Frodo although I am sure they would not have minded Pippin so much if they had known that he was the future Thain of the Shire.  
  
Four years after my party Corona and Pippin got married. Sam and I stood up with Pippin and Estella and Pippin's sister Pearl stood up for Corona. It was a beautiful summer day and the wedding was wonderful although it broke my heart to see Corona married to someone else, even if it was Pippin. The ceremony took place underneath a willow tree and the minister who performed the vows commented that it was the most wonderful selection for a wedding. It would have been better if we had told our families about it. Corona's family took it well after they learned whom she married but the Tooks did not take it as well. My Aunt Eglantine and Uncle Paladin were upset that their only son would not tell them about his wedding. They later forgave Pippin but there were a few weeks were we were afraid we had created a division in the Took family.  
  
The two moved to a cottage I owned known as Crickhollow. I later sold it to Frodo but he told the young couple to stay there since he was lonely being alone (we didn't believe that was the true reason as we were already planning on accompanying him to Rivendell). It was happy there while it lasted.  
  
We left for Rivendell with Frodo that September and Corona and Estella meet us before we left. I made Estella promise she would take care of my parents and Corona which she did. She cried and told me that she had a feeling that this journey would be more perilous and longer then I thought it would be. I later learned she was right. She knew even then about the ring, having followed me the day I found out Bilbo had it. I hugged her goodbye and waved to Corona who was still in Pippin's arms, the two wrapped in a last hug of love. But then they didn't know it would be the last they had  
  
While we were away, Corona's face haunted me in a way. I never stopped thinking of her during the day. But at night when it was cold and dark, it was Stella I though of. She was a comforting reminder of home and I would sit and think of how she was too kind to me. Corona was my love, but every thought of her brought the feeling of betrayal to Pippin. I felt I had betrayed him by loving the same women. I was his best friend. It was not meant to be that way.  
  
When we returned, we were forced to fight for our land. Pippin had gathered the Tooks and I had brought some of the Bucklanders together and Farmer Cotton brought together Hobbiton and we revolted. I blew my horn, a gift from Eomer, king of Rohan, and the battle began.  
  
Unbeknown to Pippin and myself, Corona had managed to get into the battle herself. Pippin found her first when she was about to be stabbed by a man. The two fought along with each other, trying to protect the other one. I'm sure Pippin planned on having a talk with his wife later, but that was never to be. Corona was stabbed and she sank to the ground in Pippin's arms. I tried to save her, but in the end I failed. She spent her last moments in Pippin's arms telling him about what she left behind. I felt like my heart had been ripped out that day. Not only did I loose the one I loved, but I lost a friend as well. I almost lost Pippin as well. He spent the hour after Corona's green eyes closed clinging to her body and kept whispering for her to come back. It was Frodo who finally got Pippin to come to the Cottons to get cleaned up and sleep. No one could get him to eat. I barely could get myself to eat.  
  
All I could think about was how I failed Pippin, I failed Corona, and I failed Stella. Half of me said that it wasn't my fault but the stronger side said it was. The stronger side won many times but the other side always held out for some reason. I did not have the thought that Corona's death was my fault taken away for many years. In fact only Pippin could have told me otherwise and for a while he too thought it was my fault.  
  
The next day we had went to Bag End and Sarumen and Wormtongue met their demise. We then all traveled to Michel Delving to release prisoners. Freddie (as we now call him since he no longer is "fatty") and Stella had both been imprisoned. Stella had taken the brunt of it for her brother, though he never knew. She had become quite thin and was too weak to walk on her own, so I had to carry her to Crickhollow where Frodo decided we all would live for a while till Bag End completed being renovated. She instantly saw what was wrong and told me it wasn't my fault. Stella is like that. She always wants to make you feel better.  
  
Pippin was a wreck after Corona's death. He locked himself in his room and hardly came out. He only came out to eat when Stella forced him to. Most often she used his daughter Lela and how she needed Pippin to be healthy. Lela was a perfect replica of her mother, green eyes and all. There were times looking into those eyes I started to cry I missed Corona so much. Stella took care of Lela, using the maternal part of her she has yet to use again.  
  
Corona left both Pippin and I notes. I never saw Pippins, but I can still remember what mine had said. She had known about my love for her and had made sure to tell me it was not because of Stella. Another thing she told me that has stuck in my mind is that she believed a stronger love was there for me if I only look around. She said that was why I never tried to ask her out even when she wasn't with Pippin. I wouldn't know till later what she meant.  
  
Pippin got better and even fell in love again. Her name was Diamond and she is the best thing Pippin could have. She knows his moods and allows him some mischief but still knows when to pull him back. They just had a baby named Faramir, named after the new Steward of Gondor. He is very adorable and has already proven himself his father's son. Lela adores him and Pippin and her have settled into a nice little family of four.  
  
I married Estella a year after Pippin and Diamond got married. It was more for getting my father off my back about getting married then it was for love. Everyone knew that including my father. I remember Freddie coming up to me before the wedding and giving me "the warning" that every father and brother of the bride give. I realized later he really meant what he said since he knew I already had hurt his sister in a way. I had never recognized her concern for me as love, but as something a friend does. She loved me even more then I loved Corona and everyday of our marriage she had to wonder if I even could love her a little back.  
  
Corona's memory still affects us but the feeling of having your heart taken out has worn away to just memories. I learned to love again and found Corona was right. There was a stronger love out there and that's the love between Stella and me. It wasn't an overnight love but one that grew into something that could never wear away. It had never occurred to me that you could love more then one person at same time like I did. I don't know if Stella realizes I love her, but I hope she does.  
  
Hopefully Pippin has forgiven me for what I did. I still feel guilty about loving my best friend's wife. Hopefully Stella has forgiven me as well for all the pain I put her though. Now it is her blue eyes that haunt my days, not Corona's green.  
  
I hope this account is detailed enough for Pippin and whatever reason he has need for it. I'm glad I admitted it once and for all what has laid on my heart for many years.  
  
Merry Brandybuck  
  
Master of Buckland 


	3. Estella

Memories: Estella.  
  
Dear Lela,  
  
Your father wanted us to write the story of your mother so you would know about her as she is not written in the book your Cousin Frodo and Uncle Sam wrote about the War of the Rings. Some things are better kept within the memories of those closest to the events. This is my side of the story, which I hope does justice to your mother.  
  
Corona and I were friends from childhood. She had been born in Buckland near by my home and our mothers were also friends. With Freddie, then called Fatty, off so often with his friends I was often left alone. After awhile I started to spend a lot of time with Corona. We would always work outside, no matter how undignified our mothers' thought it was. There were times when we would travel to Hobbiton to help the Gamgees, Corona's mother's family. They taught us how to garden, how to cook, even something I doubt my mother knew how to do. It was always fun and family with the Gamgees.  
  
When I was 30 years old, a friend of my family's held a party for his only son. Saradoc Brandybuck was easily the most prominent man in Buckland and very high up in the Shire, being the brother-in law of Paladin Took, the current Thian of the Shire. He was very proud of his son Meriadoc (called Merry by friends and family), as was the patriarch of the Brandybuck family, Rorimac Brandybuck. While Saradoc was the Master of Buckland, he was still using the advice of his father, the former Master. Rory had been the only one who had retired and handed it down to his son before his death. But then Master Rory was never an ordinary Hobbit and neither was his grandson. But there was one thing Rory Brandybuck did well, and that was having a party and he had no better party then that of his grandson's coming of age.  
  
I was invited of course; all of Buckland was invited to this party of the season. Corona's cousin Sam also came with a Hobbit-lass he fancied named Rose Cotton. Frodo Baggins and Peragrin Took (known as Frodo and Pippin) were also invited at no surprise. Often the Baggins and Took families came to the Buckland parties. Also there was a good friend of Corona and mine named Pervinca Took. She was the same age as us and whenever we were together we were known to be as mischievous as my brother and his band of friends.  
  
This party was actually a big deal for me for other reasons then my good friends would be there. For a while I had a slight infatuation with Merry and from the gossips around town and from hints from my brother, Merry was planning on asking me to "date" him as they say today. Merry and I had been friends for a long time but that made no difference in the fact I was extremely nervous although it turned out to be a waste of time for he never asked me that night nor for a long time.  
  
Corona and I look a lot alike. We both are fairly tall hobbits with dark curly hair and fair skin that tanned. The only real difference in our looks was that she had brilliant green eyes and I had regular blue-gray eyes that no one would consider spectacular. I hate to admit this but there were times I was envious of her eyes. Her eyes made her beautiful. I felt very average and unworthy next to her at times. She never knew of this, I made sure. She's my best friend after all.  
  
Those eyes entrapped Pippin and Merry. It was what made them fall in love with her. For Pippin, it was that night at the party and for Merry it was a gradual emotion. Even Freddie was enamored with her. Of course he had been for years and Corona knew that. The only hobbit that was interested in me was Ted Sandyman and I found him too arrogant to be interested in as more then an annoyance. Pippin finally asked Corona out the next year and they often went on dates. Merry and I created diversions for them, telling their parents if they asked that hobbit in question was at our homes. While they went on their picnic dates or whatever they planned on doing, I assisted Merry and Sam in forming a plan about Frodo. Frodo had been very mysterious and we were curious. Merry and I had known about Bilbo's ring and had often wondered about it. Sam had no idea about it till later when he learned from Frodo.  
  
We eventually included Pippin and Corona in on our plan. They helped while planning their secret wedding. Merry, Sam, Pervinca and I were the only ones who attended the ceremony that took place in an open spot in the forest. It was very pretty and I still can picture it. Pippin and Corona were very happy and Merry had actually started to hold my hand that day. Sometimes simple things like that stand out in a girl's memory.  
  
Pippin and Corona lived in Crickhollow for the short period before Frodo left on his quest. He thought he would fool us by saying he planned on moving in with Pippin and Corona at Crickhollow but we all knew that he planned on going on this mission alone, with only Sam along with him. The night he arrived we told him that we knew and that Merry and Pippin planned on going with them. I had wanted to go too but Merry, Freddie and Frodo voted that down. Freddie was staying behind to make it look like someone was living in Crickhollow besides Corona. I also moved in later. It was also that night that I got the odd feeling that this "trip" was going to be far more then a trip to Rivendell, city of the Elves. I told Merry so but he told me I was just worrying too much.  
  
They were gone for longer then they anticipated. It was over a year before they returned and during that time things changed dramatically in the Shire. Men started to appear in the Shire, taking over governing and setting up rules that only advanced themselves. Corona had a baby as well. You were named Lela after a cousin of hers. Freddie and I were imprisoned soon after your birth in a makeshift prison in Michel Delving. I never knew why I was imprisoned and I shall not comment on the time I spent there now.  
  
Pippin, Merry, Sam and Frodo arrived back in the Shire in early November of that year. Those of us in the prison were released personally by Merry and Pippin, whose heart wasn't in it. I later found out on the way to Crickhollow that Corona had decided to fight in battle. Unfortunately she died while fighting. Pippin was in shock, really. For a couple of weeks he didn't come out of his room at Crickhollow except to catch a rare meal and to visit Corona's grave. It was sad to watch.  
  
I busied myself by taking care of you while I recovered a bit from the injuries I had. Merry helped me. I could see the haunted look in his eyes, especially when he looked at you and your father, but surprisingly he didn't seem as bad off as Pippin did. He didn't smile much for a while after the battle but he tried to put on a good front for Frodo who needed it.  
  
They had all changed greatly from before they left. Frodo mostly keep to himself, writing in Bilbo's book about the trip. Occasionally he came to get details from Merry and Pippin, but he mostly stayed in Hobbiton. He also served as Mayor for a while but Sam soon took over. Sam had become more self-confident and had started a family with Rosie. The pair love children and plan on having many.  
  
Pippin had lost much of the childlike innocence he had before leaving. He still played around with the younger hobbit children and will always look for fun, but he has a look in his eye that make him seem older then he looks and is. He is wiser now. He really did not become like his own self till Diamond arrived. She brought back his smile. If it hadn't been for her, I fear that Pippin may have lost it.  
  
Merry also changed. He became more mature and quieter, although like Pippin he still was a bit mischievous. He told me stories of his time away from the shire, how he had fought war, been homesick, been near death, lost friends and loved ones, and even saw a King crowned. He spent more time with me for some reason after the war and told me these things. I could see the tears in his eyes when he spoke of King Theoden and how he had promised the King that they would set down and talk about the history of pipe weed. That is Merry for you; he always loved to learn those odd facts that the general population didn't. That is why he wrote the book on pipe- weed. It was in memory of Theoden and because of his love of learning.  
  
When your father married Diamond, I was so happy to see him smile again. The fact that she got along so well with you was a plus. I can't help but say I was jealous when I saw her holding you. It meant that my time as your temporary mother was over. It made me wish for children of my own. I still do wish that.  
  
A year after Pippin's wedding, Merry and I got married. It was a small ceremony, similar to Pippins. We had Sam oversee it and invited only close friends and family to the celebrations. Granted that was a bit odd for hobbits not to have large gatherings at their weddings but Merry wanted this way, and I have to agree. We had all changed since the war, and our relationships changed. We felt comfortable with those around us and it made the day extra special. Merry and I walked to Corona's grave while everyone else was celebrating to tell her. Corona would have been there beside me if my perfect dream had come true. She was my best friend and I missed her there. She would have loved to be there too, I know it. She would have stood next to me, making faces at you while you sat in Uncle Frodo's lap. Pippin would be smiling at you two and Merry would be trying to pay attention while not trying to see what Pippin was smiling at. It would have been wonderful.  
  
There are times when I am still jealous of your mother, but I realize something. I have more then she did. She never got to see you grow up, or see you walk for the first time. She never got to grow old with the man she loved or have conversations with me over our children and later grandchildren. She missed it all. I wish she were here so much sometimes. I know she would have loved it.  
  
I am not sure if this helps you any in knowing your mother or understanding the times around her and your father's lives but I hope it does. Your mother was an amazing hobbit and an amazing friend. I see her in you every time you come to see me in your eyes and in your actions. Your mother would have been proud of you.  
  
Estella Bolger-Brandybuck 


End file.
